[Masaomi isn't as enthusiastic as Izaya about this mess. He takes his sweet time getting to the garden, but as promised, he does have three plastic containers in his arms when he arrives. Two of them are filled to the brim with fried rice - the easiest, simplest, and dullest meal Masaomi could come up with. The third appears to contain way too much peanut better.
This unwilling trek is Masaomi's very first visit to Mammon's lavish garden. As such, he's completely clueless about the calm that gently permeates his mind the further in he goes. With each step, he feels a little less angry, a little less helpless. Until he finds Izaya lounging in the grass. Rather than make a snide comment or silently and unceremoniously dump the food in Izaya's lap, he plops down next to the man like it's nothing, sets Izaya's portion carefully in front of him, and lays a pair of chopsticks on top.]
This is really where you want to eat? [He asks, a casual half-smile sliding across his lips.] Didn't think you were the picnicking type.
[A buzz in the back of his mind tells him he probably shouldn't be so polite - or even remotely okay with this situation. He wasn't okay with it just five minutes ago! But for some reason, he can't bring himself to feel concerned about it. He can't bring himself to feel concerned about anything. Any negative thought he tries to entertain rolls right off his shoulders.
He hasn't felt this relaxed since he landed in hell. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.]
There's plenty you don't know about me, haven't you realized that, Kida-kun?
(So is Izaya. Not a concern in his mind, not a tension in his body. The knives that are always too easy to reach seem like only a weight in his pocket. He doesn't feel like anybody is coming to surprise-kick him at the moment.
It's an honest question, too. What does Masaomi really know about Izaya that isn't tainted with his hate? Not much, not really. Delicately, he takes the container and the chopsticks, a gentle smile on his lips as he regards the meal. It's been a while since he was cooked for, even if this had been forced out of Masaomi.)
[His sigh is more nostalgic than anything as he waves Izaya's ambiguous question aside. Normally he'd be on the defensive, frustrated and insulted and desperate to prove himself better, but with that protective emotional barrier melted away, he can admit that he's definitely stupid. He's pretty much everything Izaya's ever accused him of being.]
I know the kinds of things you do, but I don't understand the real reason why you do it all. I stopped asking ages ago 'cause I don't want to know. It's not like knowing would stop you from doing any of it anyway.
It's because I love humans, Kida-kun. Their reactions, the way they deal with what life gives them and other humans, it's just beautiful in its own right. I'm just fascinated by it, and as a bonus, maybe one day I'll understand some things I cannot accept very well.
(He may have gotten out of script, but it's nothing that he minds sharing in the state he's currently in. Kida is right - he can't stop Izaya, no matter how much he wishes to.)
[That's what Izaya always says. "I love humans! Human love!" But that's not a real reason, not one that makes sense to Masaomi anyway. He certainly doesn't enjoy it when he hurts the people he loves. That kind of perverse obsession isn't love, no matter what Izaya might call it.
Today, Izaya's familiar spiel has a twist ending, however, and Masaomi definitely doesn't miss it. Izaya admitting he doesn't understand something well is nigh unheard of. For once, it doesn't cross Masaomi's mind that this is some scheme, that Izaya's said it on purpose to get his mind working exactly how Izaya wants it to. Instead, he wonders if maybe, just maybe, it might have a kernel of truth in it.]
Well... yeah. I guess I am.
[He eventually shrugs, glaring half-heartedly down at his fried rice. He feels pretty scared normally, even if it's not so bad now.]
You wanted me to be, right? That's why you never stop bragging about how much you can control Bella.
(Masaomi can think as he'd like - Izaya is being nothing but truthful for once. It takes effort to pick apart his humanity loving speech, to understand why he has chosen to deal with life the way he has, and without Shinra, perhaps Masaomi will never be able to see beyond the bullshit Izaya spills to justify his way of life.
Izaya won't explain it. Perhaps if he forcefully opens someone, he can understand why someone like Shizuo is loved and accepted, and he isn't. Perhaps he can comprehend why Shinra is the way he is, and why Izaya isn't a part of his world the way he'd like.
He'd break either way. It's easier to hide and be the way he is, much more entertaining and much better for his self-esteem, thank you very much.)
I don't control her, though. She's more than welcome to break up with me at any time. Maybe I've pulled some strings at the beginning, but I don't have that sort of power over anyone - I just lead and watch what you decide to do. It's the same for you, except I don't kiss you on the mouth.
Gross. Don't make me lose my appetite now, asshole.
[There's no real vitriol in the insult, but still, no matter how at peace Masaomi may be, he can never condone the idea of making out with Izaya Orihara.]
Besides, you know what I mean. [He insists, shaking his head.] Sure, you might not hold a gun to anybody's head, but you do hand them out like candy to anyone who tells you they're afraid of what they'd do if they had one. It's the same thing, just sneakier.
(The laughter that leaves Izaya is just outright unholy, tears pooling on the corners of his eyes as he rides out the chucking, thank you, Masaomi, he sincerely needed that one.
When it finally ceases, Izaya puts down the container for a second to look at the teen beside him, shaking his head adamantly.)
Absolutely not. What you're saying is simply removing the responsibility from one and shoving to another. I may certainly do hand out the gun, but I don't pull the trigger for anybody. So you're saying I'm to blame for everything, Kida-kun?
[Masaomi would love nothing more than to blame Izaya for everything. He knows better though. If he did that, he'd be no different from Izaya himself, running around telling everyone that none of his personal tragedy was his own fault because he hadn't thrown the first punch - just like Izaya insists he's not to blame because he wasn't the one who landed the finishing blow.]
No, I'm saying that if you hand a gun with your name on it to the guy who says he wants to rob a bank, you're either an idiot or a bastard.
And what is your point with all of this, Kida-kun? You said you don't want to understand, so it hardly matters the reasoning behind it, only the facts, right?
(Does he just want to call Izaya names or is there a question coming from beneath all this finger-pointing?)
Do you have something else to get off your chest? I'm fully aware you despise me.
[Oh, that's right. He did have a reason for coming here. He very nearly forgot.
Masaomi takes a bite of the dinner he's made, chews it as he considers his next move. It doesn't take nearly as long as it usually does when he can't bring himself to be wary of the potential consequences. Might as well just go for it, he decides.]
You said I'm still alive, that you know about things in Ikebukuro that I don't. [AMONG OTHER VERY IMPORTANT THINGS.] So how do I know you're not just handing me another gun?
I think you can't know, can you? I think it hardly matters if I tell you the naked truth or a string of lies, you'll never fully trust what I have to say. In this case, however, it'd be your loss entirely. I know for a fact that you're not dead, because I was planning things for you and Ryuugamine-kun, albeit I'll say this, I have been occupied with bigger fish to mess with you two too much. Blue Square and Ryuugamine-kun, huh?
(That's hard to pinpoint on a timeline, although Kadota being in a hospital bed being new knowledge to Masaomi does give him a window. It's with a hum that he takes a bite, chewing to give himself some time to review.)
I think last I spoke to Ryuugamine, he wanted to know if I had told the Awakusu group about him. We had a lovely conversation about you, the Dollars, and the state of Ikebukuro.
You left out that part before? Nope, I had nothing to do with that.
(Chaos in his voice, because oof, delicious information coming straight from Masaomi's mouth just like this?)
To the contrary. I told him to drop it and be a high school kid for once. Dotachiin in the hospital and Shizuo arrested as it was, why stay in something that's crumbling apart?
That was his belief alone. He didn't want to save the Dollars, he wanted it to be the way it was when that first meeting happened, he said he feels guilty about having created it in the first place-- Ah, surprisingly so, he caught up to my scheme, would you believe the brains in that boy? Not so naive as we thought.
(Ah, now he's set a nice ground for some information withholding. Sorry, Masaomi, but just giving him dinner is not going to cut with all the information he has in store. You gotta sweeten the deal.)
[After all, Mikado has never been naive by nature. What experience he lacks, he's always made up for with his straightforward wisdom. That's part of what Masaomi's always admired about him. That he didn't entirely abandon Masaomi after finding him bleeding out in that warehouse is a miracle in itself, and it speaks volumes of his character.
For Mikado to reach a point where he feels guilty for creating his prized Dollars, so guilty that he joins with a gang despite that he can't fight and is beaten half to death in order to stop a stalker... This is exactly what Masaomi has always been afraid of. He'd wanted so desperately to keep Mikado away from Tokyo's dark side. He'd nearly died for it. And yet, here he is. Nothing can keep Mikado Ryuugamine down.
Without the ability to lament, Masaomi can only feel a vague emptiness in his gut. He tries to fill it with another mouthful of fried rice.]
(He's much more like Masaomi than the other would like to admit. Self-sacrificial to a fault. Masaomi might have done his deeds, but wasn't Mikado throwing himself away in order to make things a better place for Masaomi and Anhri? The lengths the two will go with the nooses around their necks, it even makes Izaya's hair raise and the blood inside his veins boil with excitement just thinking about all the possibilities, including the possibility that he might not get any right.
That excites him the most.
Time to stir the pot though.)
And Sonohara, Kida-kun? What do you know about your dear friend?
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This unwilling trek is Masaomi's very first visit to Mammon's lavish garden. As such, he's completely clueless about the calm that gently permeates his mind the further in he goes. With each step, he feels a little less angry, a little less helpless. Until he finds Izaya lounging in the grass. Rather than make a snide comment or silently and unceremoniously dump the food in Izaya's lap, he plops down next to the man like it's nothing, sets Izaya's portion carefully in front of him, and lays a pair of chopsticks on top.]
This is really where you want to eat? [He asks, a casual half-smile sliding across his lips.] Didn't think you were the picnicking type.
[A buzz in the back of his mind tells him he probably shouldn't be so polite - or even remotely okay with this situation. He wasn't okay with it just five minutes ago! But for some reason, he can't bring himself to feel concerned about it. He can't bring himself to feel concerned about anything. Any negative thought he tries to entertain rolls right off his shoulders.
He hasn't felt this relaxed since he landed in hell. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.]
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(So is Izaya. Not a concern in his mind, not a tension in his body. The knives that are always too easy to reach seem like only a weight in his pocket. He doesn't feel like anybody is coming to surprise-kick him at the moment.
It's an honest question, too. What does Masaomi really know about Izaya that isn't tainted with his hate? Not much, not really. Delicately, he takes the container and the chopsticks, a gentle smile on his lips as he regards the meal. It's been a while since he was cooked for, even if this had been forced out of Masaomi.)
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[His sigh is more nostalgic than anything as he waves Izaya's ambiguous question aside. Normally he'd be on the defensive, frustrated and insulted and desperate to prove himself better, but with that protective emotional barrier melted away, he can admit that he's definitely stupid. He's pretty much everything Izaya's ever accused him of being.]
I know the kinds of things you do, but I don't understand the real reason why you do it all. I stopped asking ages ago 'cause I don't want to know. It's not like knowing would stop you from doing any of it anyway.
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(He may have gotten out of script, but it's nothing that he minds sharing in the state he's currently in. Kida is right - he can't stop Izaya, no matter how much he wishes to.)
Are you scared of what I might do here?
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Today, Izaya's familiar spiel has a twist ending, however, and Masaomi definitely doesn't miss it. Izaya admitting he doesn't understand something well is nigh unheard of. For once, it doesn't cross Masaomi's mind that this is some scheme, that Izaya's said it on purpose to get his mind working exactly how Izaya wants it to. Instead, he wonders if maybe, just maybe, it might have a kernel of truth in it.]
Well... yeah. I guess I am.
[He eventually shrugs, glaring half-heartedly down at his fried rice. He feels pretty scared normally, even if it's not so bad now.]
You wanted me to be, right? That's why you never stop bragging about how much you can control Bella.
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Izaya won't explain it. Perhaps if he forcefully opens someone, he can understand why someone like Shizuo is loved and accepted, and he isn't. Perhaps he can comprehend why Shinra is the way he is, and why Izaya isn't a part of his world the way he'd like.
He'd break either way. It's easier to hide and be the way he is, much more entertaining and much better for his self-esteem, thank you very much.)
I don't control her, though. She's more than welcome to break up with me at any time. Maybe I've pulled some strings at the beginning, but I don't have that sort of power over anyone - I just lead and watch what you decide to do. It's the same for you, except I don't kiss you on the mouth.
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[There's no real vitriol in the insult, but still, no matter how at peace Masaomi may be, he can never condone the idea of making out with Izaya Orihara.]
Besides, you know what I mean. [He insists, shaking his head.] Sure, you might not hold a gun to anybody's head, but you do hand them out like candy to anyone who tells you they're afraid of what they'd do if they had one. It's the same thing, just sneakier.
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When it finally ceases, Izaya puts down the container for a second to look at the teen beside him, shaking his head adamantly.)
Absolutely not. What you're saying is simply removing the responsibility from one and shoving to another. I may certainly do hand out the gun, but I don't pull the trigger for anybody. So you're saying I'm to blame for everything, Kida-kun?
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No, I'm saying that if you hand a gun with your name on it to the guy who says he wants to rob a bank, you're either an idiot or a bastard.
[And they both know Izaya's no idiot.]
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(Does he just want to call Izaya names or is there a question coming from beneath all this finger-pointing?)
Do you have something else to get off your chest? I'm fully aware you despise me.
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Masaomi takes a bite of the dinner he's made, chews it as he considers his next move. It doesn't take nearly as long as it usually does when he can't bring himself to be wary of the potential consequences. Might as well just go for it, he decides.]
You said I'm still alive, that you know about things in Ikebukuro that I don't. [AMONG OTHER VERY IMPORTANT THINGS.] So how do I know you're not just handing me another gun?
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(That's hard to pinpoint on a timeline, although Kadota being in a hospital bed being new knowledge to Masaomi does give him a window. It's with a hum that he takes a bite, chewing to give himself some time to review.)
I think last I spoke to Ryuugamine, he wanted to know if I had told the Awakusu group about him. We had a lovely conversation about you, the Dollars, and the state of Ikebukuro.
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Deadpan, spoken around a mouthful of rice:] Was that before or after you hacked my chat account to get at him?
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(He has no issues saying it, no problems with letting it spill out of his lips.
But God, Masaomi, have some class. Saki doesn't deserve this.)
He called me on his own right, you know. Thanked me.
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What did you tell him? Are you the reason he set that stalker guy on fire?
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(Chaos in his voice, because oof, delicious information coming straight from Masaomi's mouth just like this?)
To the contrary. I told him to drop it and be a high school kid for once. Dotachiin in the hospital and Shizuo arrested as it was, why stay in something that's crumbling apart?
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I didn't want you to know. I thought you must've said something to him. That this was the only way to save the Dollars... or something.
[Mikado would never choose to ally himself with Blue Square unless he truly thought it was the only way.
...Right?]
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(Ah, now he's set a nice ground for some information withholding. Sorry, Masaomi, but just giving him dinner is not going to cut with all the information he has in store. You gotta sweeten the deal.)
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Of course, I'd believe it.
[After all, Mikado has never been naive by nature. What experience he lacks, he's always made up for with his straightforward wisdom. That's part of what Masaomi's always admired about him. That he didn't entirely abandon Masaomi after finding him bleeding out in that warehouse is a miracle in itself, and it speaks volumes of his character.
For Mikado to reach a point where he feels guilty for creating his prized Dollars, so guilty that he joins with a gang despite that he can't fight and is beaten half to death in order to stop a stalker... This is exactly what Masaomi has always been afraid of. He'd wanted so desperately to keep Mikado away from Tokyo's dark side. He'd nearly died for it. And yet, here he is. Nothing can keep Mikado Ryuugamine down.
Without the ability to lament, Masaomi can only feel a vague emptiness in his gut. He tries to fill it with another mouthful of fried rice.]
He's not like me.
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That excites him the most.
Time to stir the pot though.)
And Sonohara, Kida-kun? What do you know about your dear friend?