[Masaomi has avoided even the most basic details regarding his last memory of Ikebukuro. He'd told Izaya a stranger had done him in, if only because he had to assume that was the case, but he hadn't mentioned why or how or who else was there at the time. Does he really want to give Izaya that information? Is it worth what little he'll get out of it?
...
If he's not actually dead, does that mean he'll be able to see Saki again? Even Mikado and Anri?
That would be worth anything and everything.
Masaomi takes a long, deep breath and makes up his mind.]
I met up with Mikado, though I didn't know it was him at first.
Some guy was attacking him. I jumped in.
Turns out he didn't need my help.
[He lit that dude on fucking fire. Never piss Mikado off.]
Ryuugamine-kun was of the mind that he was going to return the Dollars to how it was by getting rid of all unnecessary things, by all means necessary, including but not limited to:
- The Yellow Scarves - The Blue Squares - Himself
The list goes on and on! Ah, I miss Ryuugamine-kun here sometimes. Don't you think he'd try to reform Hell itself? It would be great to watch. Ryuugamine-kun VS Lucifer-san! A match made in Hell!
Anyways, that's not the point I'm trying to bring. Do you remember, for instance, Dotachiin being in a coma?
[There is so much EXTREMELY NOT OKAY about what Izaya has just sent to him that when Izaya tries to wave it aside with a fucking "anyways that's not the point" Masaomi wants to strangle him. Unfortunately, he can't do that over text. (He couldn't do it even if they were standing in the same room, but he tries not to think about that most days.)
Instead, he saves the text so that he can bring it up later on his own terms. Especially the part about Mikado seeing himself as unnecessary.]
I won't let things go your way.
The moment Mikado gets dragged into this nightmare, we're through.
(Cute in theory, but unapplicable in real life. As only if Masaomi would be able to leave Bella in Izaya's hand. As if Mikado wouldn't rely on Izaya in a place where he'd need to evolve even more. As if Masaomi wouldn't come running back eventually.
So, really cute for him to say that, isn't it? Adorable, like a hissing cat. Look at Masaomi go.)
Oof, aren't you terrible, Kida-kun? Breaking up with me for something we don't even know whether it's going to happen, over text? I deserve at least a dinner in a nice restaurant before you go cutting off our ties like that.
Kadota-Exactly-What-You've-Read. Ah, so you were pulled here from a much earlier time! You don't know anything that happened back home, isn't that incredible? I myself remember everything.
(You stupid teenager. You seriously need to get a better holding of your surroundings and perhaps, just perhaps, you might be able to win next time Izaya throws shit like this your way. See why your breaking-up with him is cute in theory?
St00pid.)
As long as it's savory and bitter, it's alright with me!
(And Izaya presses a kiss to Bella's face, puts on the trademark coat, ruffles his own hair, and out the door he is. The garden is... Not the best place for him, not really, but if he sticks to script? That's fine. He won't even freak out or give away any signs of stress, so it will all sound as natural as possible - it'll be fine.
[Masaomi isn't as enthusiastic as Izaya about this mess. He takes his sweet time getting to the garden, but as promised, he does have three plastic containers in his arms when he arrives. Two of them are filled to the brim with fried rice - the easiest, simplest, and dullest meal Masaomi could come up with. The third appears to contain way too much peanut better.
This unwilling trek is Masaomi's very first visit to Mammon's lavish garden. As such, he's completely clueless about the calm that gently permeates his mind the further in he goes. With each step, he feels a little less angry, a little less helpless. Until he finds Izaya lounging in the grass. Rather than make a snide comment or silently and unceremoniously dump the food in Izaya's lap, he plops down next to the man like it's nothing, sets Izaya's portion carefully in front of him, and lays a pair of chopsticks on top.]
This is really where you want to eat? [He asks, a casual half-smile sliding across his lips.] Didn't think you were the picnicking type.
[A buzz in the back of his mind tells him he probably shouldn't be so polite - or even remotely okay with this situation. He wasn't okay with it just five minutes ago! But for some reason, he can't bring himself to feel concerned about it. He can't bring himself to feel concerned about anything. Any negative thought he tries to entertain rolls right off his shoulders.
He hasn't felt this relaxed since he landed in hell. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.]
There's plenty you don't know about me, haven't you realized that, Kida-kun?
(So is Izaya. Not a concern in his mind, not a tension in his body. The knives that are always too easy to reach seem like only a weight in his pocket. He doesn't feel like anybody is coming to surprise-kick him at the moment.
It's an honest question, too. What does Masaomi really know about Izaya that isn't tainted with his hate? Not much, not really. Delicately, he takes the container and the chopsticks, a gentle smile on his lips as he regards the meal. It's been a while since he was cooked for, even if this had been forced out of Masaomi.)
[His sigh is more nostalgic than anything as he waves Izaya's ambiguous question aside. Normally he'd be on the defensive, frustrated and insulted and desperate to prove himself better, but with that protective emotional barrier melted away, he can admit that he's definitely stupid. He's pretty much everything Izaya's ever accused him of being.]
I know the kinds of things you do, but I don't understand the real reason why you do it all. I stopped asking ages ago 'cause I don't want to know. It's not like knowing would stop you from doing any of it anyway.
It's because I love humans, Kida-kun. Their reactions, the way they deal with what life gives them and other humans, it's just beautiful in its own right. I'm just fascinated by it, and as a bonus, maybe one day I'll understand some things I cannot accept very well.
(He may have gotten out of script, but it's nothing that he minds sharing in the state he's currently in. Kida is right - he can't stop Izaya, no matter how much he wishes to.)
[That's what Izaya always says. "I love humans! Human love!" But that's not a real reason, not one that makes sense to Masaomi anyway. He certainly doesn't enjoy it when he hurts the people he loves. That kind of perverse obsession isn't love, no matter what Izaya might call it.
Today, Izaya's familiar spiel has a twist ending, however, and Masaomi definitely doesn't miss it. Izaya admitting he doesn't understand something well is nigh unheard of. For once, it doesn't cross Masaomi's mind that this is some scheme, that Izaya's said it on purpose to get his mind working exactly how Izaya wants it to. Instead, he wonders if maybe, just maybe, it might have a kernel of truth in it.]
Well... yeah. I guess I am.
[He eventually shrugs, glaring half-heartedly down at his fried rice. He feels pretty scared normally, even if it's not so bad now.]
You wanted me to be, right? That's why you never stop bragging about how much you can control Bella.
(Masaomi can think as he'd like - Izaya is being nothing but truthful for once. It takes effort to pick apart his humanity loving speech, to understand why he has chosen to deal with life the way he has, and without Shinra, perhaps Masaomi will never be able to see beyond the bullshit Izaya spills to justify his way of life.
Izaya won't explain it. Perhaps if he forcefully opens someone, he can understand why someone like Shizuo is loved and accepted, and he isn't. Perhaps he can comprehend why Shinra is the way he is, and why Izaya isn't a part of his world the way he'd like.
He'd break either way. It's easier to hide and be the way he is, much more entertaining and much better for his self-esteem, thank you very much.)
I don't control her, though. She's more than welcome to break up with me at any time. Maybe I've pulled some strings at the beginning, but I don't have that sort of power over anyone - I just lead and watch what you decide to do. It's the same for you, except I don't kiss you on the mouth.
Gross. Don't make me lose my appetite now, asshole.
[There's no real vitriol in the insult, but still, no matter how at peace Masaomi may be, he can never condone the idea of making out with Izaya Orihara.]
Besides, you know what I mean. [He insists, shaking his head.] Sure, you might not hold a gun to anybody's head, but you do hand them out like candy to anyone who tells you they're afraid of what they'd do if they had one. It's the same thing, just sneakier.
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No, it's much more important than that. What's the last thing you happen to remember?
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Why?
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Perhaps you're not dead at all, Kida-kun, aren't you so lucky?
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Really?
[This isn't a game, right? Izaya isn't playing him, right?]
Is that even possible?
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I'll ask again - what's the last memory you have from Ikebukuro? Help me help you.
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...
If he's not actually dead, does that mean he'll be able to see Saki again? Even Mikado and Anri?
That would be worth anything and everything.
Masaomi takes a long, deep breath and makes up his mind.]
I met up with Mikado, though I didn't know it was him at first.
Some guy was attacking him. I jumped in.
Turns out he didn't need my help.
[He lit that dude on fucking fire. Never piss Mikado off.]
He was with Blue Square.
I'm sure you know all about that.
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Ryuugamine-kun was of the mind that he was going to return the Dollars to how it was by getting rid of all unnecessary things, by all means necessary, including but not limited to:
- The Yellow Scarves
- The Blue Squares
- Himself
The list goes on and on! Ah, I miss Ryuugamine-kun here sometimes. Don't you think he'd try to reform Hell itself? It would be great to watch. Ryuugamine-kun VS Lucifer-san! A match made in Hell!
Anyways, that's not the point I'm trying to bring. Do you remember, for instance, Dotachiin being in a coma?
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Instead, he saves the text so that he can bring it up later on his own terms. Especially the part about Mikado seeing himself as unnecessary.]
I won't let things go your way.
The moment Mikado gets dragged into this nightmare, we're through.
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KADOTA WHAT????!!
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So, really cute for him to say that, isn't it? Adorable, like a hissing cat. Look at Masaomi go.)
Oof, aren't you terrible, Kida-kun? Breaking up with me for something we don't even know whether it's going to happen, over text? I deserve at least a dinner in a nice restaurant before you go cutting off our ties like that.
Kadota-Exactly-What-You've-Read. Ah, so you were pulled here from a much earlier time! You don't know anything that happened back home, isn't that incredible? I myself remember everything.
Let me tell you: you are not dead at all.
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What are you talking about?
You remember something I don't??
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Are you serious right now?
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I'll make dinner. I'll even throw in a dessert.
But don't expect me to set a mood or some shit.
You get dinner. I get info. That's it.
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(Not really, but he heard a faint scream and he'd like to hear it again.)
I don't like sweets, keep them to yourself. Meet you in the garden?
(Nothing fishy there.)
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He is so eager to not think about how taken Izaya is, in fact, that he jumps right in without considering any amount of fishiness.]
Fine.
Don't complain if it tastes bad.
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St00pid.)
As long as it's savory and bitter, it's alright with me!
(And Izaya presses a kiss to Bella's face, puts on the trademark coat, ruffles his own hair, and out the door he is. The garden is... Not the best place for him, not really, but if he sticks to script? That's fine. He won't even freak out or give away any signs of stress, so it will all sound as natural as possible - it'll be fine.
Find him sitting on the grass.)
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This unwilling trek is Masaomi's very first visit to Mammon's lavish garden. As such, he's completely clueless about the calm that gently permeates his mind the further in he goes. With each step, he feels a little less angry, a little less helpless. Until he finds Izaya lounging in the grass. Rather than make a snide comment or silently and unceremoniously dump the food in Izaya's lap, he plops down next to the man like it's nothing, sets Izaya's portion carefully in front of him, and lays a pair of chopsticks on top.]
This is really where you want to eat? [He asks, a casual half-smile sliding across his lips.] Didn't think you were the picnicking type.
[A buzz in the back of his mind tells him he probably shouldn't be so polite - or even remotely okay with this situation. He wasn't okay with it just five minutes ago! But for some reason, he can't bring himself to feel concerned about it. He can't bring himself to feel concerned about anything. Any negative thought he tries to entertain rolls right off his shoulders.
He hasn't felt this relaxed since he landed in hell. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.]
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(So is Izaya. Not a concern in his mind, not a tension in his body. The knives that are always too easy to reach seem like only a weight in his pocket. He doesn't feel like anybody is coming to surprise-kick him at the moment.
It's an honest question, too. What does Masaomi really know about Izaya that isn't tainted with his hate? Not much, not really. Delicately, he takes the container and the chopsticks, a gentle smile on his lips as he regards the meal. It's been a while since he was cooked for, even if this had been forced out of Masaomi.)
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[His sigh is more nostalgic than anything as he waves Izaya's ambiguous question aside. Normally he'd be on the defensive, frustrated and insulted and desperate to prove himself better, but with that protective emotional barrier melted away, he can admit that he's definitely stupid. He's pretty much everything Izaya's ever accused him of being.]
I know the kinds of things you do, but I don't understand the real reason why you do it all. I stopped asking ages ago 'cause I don't want to know. It's not like knowing would stop you from doing any of it anyway.
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(He may have gotten out of script, but it's nothing that he minds sharing in the state he's currently in. Kida is right - he can't stop Izaya, no matter how much he wishes to.)
Are you scared of what I might do here?
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Today, Izaya's familiar spiel has a twist ending, however, and Masaomi definitely doesn't miss it. Izaya admitting he doesn't understand something well is nigh unheard of. For once, it doesn't cross Masaomi's mind that this is some scheme, that Izaya's said it on purpose to get his mind working exactly how Izaya wants it to. Instead, he wonders if maybe, just maybe, it might have a kernel of truth in it.]
Well... yeah. I guess I am.
[He eventually shrugs, glaring half-heartedly down at his fried rice. He feels pretty scared normally, even if it's not so bad now.]
You wanted me to be, right? That's why you never stop bragging about how much you can control Bella.
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Izaya won't explain it. Perhaps if he forcefully opens someone, he can understand why someone like Shizuo is loved and accepted, and he isn't. Perhaps he can comprehend why Shinra is the way he is, and why Izaya isn't a part of his world the way he'd like.
He'd break either way. It's easier to hide and be the way he is, much more entertaining and much better for his self-esteem, thank you very much.)
I don't control her, though. She's more than welcome to break up with me at any time. Maybe I've pulled some strings at the beginning, but I don't have that sort of power over anyone - I just lead and watch what you decide to do. It's the same for you, except I don't kiss you on the mouth.
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[There's no real vitriol in the insult, but still, no matter how at peace Masaomi may be, he can never condone the idea of making out with Izaya Orihara.]
Besides, you know what I mean. [He insists, shaking his head.] Sure, you might not hold a gun to anybody's head, but you do hand them out like candy to anyone who tells you they're afraid of what they'd do if they had one. It's the same thing, just sneakier.
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